Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize