MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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