I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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