CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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