why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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