did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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