Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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