So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dignity is for republicans.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
