we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
