He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Randomize
