Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
