i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
