As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
