I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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