Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
