No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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