So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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