Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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