How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
