More tranny stories later!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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