She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
this hospital has no fireball
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
