For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
