Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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