butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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