I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
