thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
