remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
false alarm. still invincible.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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