If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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