When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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