You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
