I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
so much tequila, so little girl.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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