I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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