grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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