Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I can't trust your balls anymore.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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