When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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