I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
