Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize
