Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
