3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
