I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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