I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I am naked and annoyed.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
