dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
