Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
