somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
