We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
