oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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