Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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