I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize