Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
