Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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