just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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