Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
