How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
