first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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