I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
