He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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