Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
