Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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