i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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