i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
