You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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