I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
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