she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
