Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
