You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
