She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
