i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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