What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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