Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
