Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
