How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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