Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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